In Search of the Whole-y Grail

On being enough

Good morning Life Examiners!

Summer’s in full force! A late realization of mine here in the perpetual Caribbean sun, a stark contrast from my past life spending a quarter of the year with a full body longing for a taste of proper UV. For those of you above ~31°N latitude, enjoy it - but remember there are places where this exists year round :)

A few months ago I deviated from the typical blog post format and posted raw, uncut content from my journal that veered into the completely uncharted for me realm of poetry. It was scary, somewhat uncomfortable but most of all it felt good.

So while I’m heads down editing longer form essays I present you another mushy gushy unfiltered view into my inner world.

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I’m whole.
There’s nothing more I need to do– 
No task to accomplish, problem to solve, nor state to achieve. 
I have it all.
I’m already full. 

This needing to do, this lingering pressure,
This resonant frequency of unease–
It’s a remnant of my past. 
A time I didn’t see this wholeness, 
A time when I struggled, toiled, and fought.
In an attempt to alleviate suffering. 

For when you don’t feel whole, everything is suffering. 
There is no peace when pieces of you are missing. 
But under closer scrutiny, it’s all there. 
And always has been. 
You just need to shine a light, illuminating the shadowy recesses,
To see yourself in totality

In those shadows lies Truth.
The Truth of existence.
In all it’s perfection.
Which is, and always will be, enough.

Once illuminated, clarity unfolds.
With a quietness that echoes.
Revealing what was always there,
One who is whole.

Thought of the Day

An excerpt from Lawrence Yeo’s More to That

One thing I’m realizing over time is that loneliness arises when you don’t know how to be alone. I say “how to be alone” because believe it or not, it’s a skill. It’s something you have to train, because the natural thing we do when we’re alone is to reach for something that will make us feel like we belong.

Why else do you go on social media when you’re alone? Or scroll through Netflix to look for something to watch? That’s because when we’re alone, we immediately look to connect with something that other humans are a part of, whether it’s through a feed of tweets or a lineup of shows. But the danger here is that these things tend to convert the fact of your aloneness into the feeling of loneliness.