High on your own supply

Using breathwork to understand ancestral ties

Imagine if Ayahuasca had a baby with a Vipassana meditation retreat and that baby grew up to be a sound engineer then got its PhD in neuroscience and went to a Tony Robbins seminar. That’s 9D breathwork.

It combines holotropic breathing with an immersive multi-dimensional sound, binaural beats, guided coaching, and visualizations to scientifically¹ induce specific brainwave frequencies allowing for a relaxed, malleable, hypnotic state conducive to transformative inner work. 

I was introduced to 9D by a close friend who facilitates these sessions and have found it to be an incredibly effective tool for taking a microscope to your subconscious and observing parts of your psyche that aren’t readily apparent, understanding their core, feeling out their emotional texture and then intentionally working with them to overcome lingering trauma, replacing them with more empowering stories.  

I recently got back from a week-long retreat in the pristine mountains of the Douro Valley in Portugal where we had three 9D journeys with related activities designed to identify, dissect, and transmute various aspects of Self. 

One of the sessions was around ancestral ties, the link to your parents and the many generations that came before them. 

My instinctive reaction was a reverberating no no no, I am not my parents. That thought terrifies me. Not because I’m ashamed or embarrassed. I’m actually quite proud of them. I love my parents. I look up to them in many regards. 

But as their offspring, I’ve gotten to know them better than just about anyone else over these last few decades which means I’ve also seen every weird quirk, unhealthy habit, delicate trigger, and obsessive mannerism that, while endearing, I don’t exactly seek to imitate. 

I’m also my own person. I’m charting my own path. How can I be my parents if I have full autonomy over the life I’m living - choosing to work at a crypto startup, live in the Caribbean, write this newsletter - all things they would never do! 

As I got into the deep, rhythmic breathing, my skin started tingling and I could feel myself dropping into this breath-induced trance as the familiar hyperactive monkey mind receded into the background giving way to this fertile environment for psychological observation and experimentation.

Once I started peering around my subconscious and the guided voice incepted the notion of an inherent linkage between parents and their kids, I realized something. 

Shiiiiit, I totally am my parents. How could I not be?? 

The ever-so-formidable forces of nature and nurture necessitate it.  Biologically I’m a 50/50 genetic code split from them. I spent the most formative 18 years of my life surrounded by them nearly every day. It’s impossible not to take in their influence. 

A certain familial osmosis occurred when I was growing up, spending inordinate amounts of time around my parents as they dictated what cereals I ate for breakfast, the chores I did around the house, the activities I participated in after school. 

All of their idiosyncracies–their habits, routines, addictions, oddities, phobias, how they take their coffee, their table manners (or lack thereof), their preferred polarizing news channel; all their cherished memories–being the first female lifeguard on the Cape May, the Animal House fraternal shenanigans; all of their traumas–losing a father at 3, growing up in a household heavily influenced by alcohol–they all influenced me in some way, shape, or form and will forever be a part of me.

As I came to terms with how tight these hereditary knots are tied, I felt closer to my parents than ever before. It was as if I had a direct connection to their lived experience allowing me to go back in time and understand what these experiences were like for them. These experiences that were all pages in the stories of their life. An intertwined 2-part series that set the stage for the sequel - me. 

With this, I developed a profound love and respect for all they went through, struggled with, and triumphed over because it's all part of my story too. And the more I understand where I came from the more I’ll come to understand the inner workings of my own psyche. 

As I continued to breathe, the experience intensified. The occasional breath holds acting like a second cup of medicine handed to me from the shaman - crystal clear visions, emotional releases of sadness, anger, and joy. 

All of a sudden, I received another download. A follow-up to the first one – while yes, these ancestral ties are unavoidable and I’m inextricably linked to my parents, that doesn’t mean they define me. I’m not beholden to the same path my parents took, destined to make the same mistakes, weighed down by their baggage, forced to learn the same lessons they did. 

No. I can use their map to chart my own path. I can take their myriad of life experiences to understand why I am the way I am, informing how to lead my life, all the while knowing I’m not alone and much of what I struggle with has been struggled with before. I have sidekicks who know me on such a core, fundamental level and whose interests are aligned, namely in having me live the happiest most fulfilled life. 

As I opened my eyes after this breathwork, it was fitting the first two faces I saw were my parents who were bold enough to come on this retreat with their kids and their new-age hippie wellness cult group. 

So Mom and Dad since I know you read your son's emails every now and then, thank you for living a life that led to me. I know we haven’t been the most emotionally expressive family but I’m feeling more motivated than ever to know the innermost depths of your lives, what have been your biggest struggles, which have you overcome, which still linger, anything you feel you regret or that you mull on, wishing you had a re-do. 

Even though you’re not writers there are still pages of your storybook I’m dying to read. It’ll help me write mine. And eventually to pass on to the Purdy’s that come next. 

1. Summary of academic research:

1. Altered States of Consciousness: Research has shown that holotropic breathwork can induce altered states of consciousness, similar to those experienced during meditation, yoga, or psychedelic experiences (Streeter et al., 2010).

2. Emotional Healing: Studies have found that holotropic breathwork can be effective in treating emotional trauma, anxiety, depression, and other psychological issues (Levin et al., 2018).

3. Neuroplasticity: Studies have suggested that holotropic breathwork may increase neural connectivity and promote neuroplasticity, which could have implications for treating neurological disorders (Hofmann et al., 2018).

4.Psychophysiological Effects: Research has found that holotropic breathwork can increase heart rate variability, oxygen consumption, and carbon dioxide elimination, indicating its potential as a tool for promoting psychophysiological balance (Hartmann et al., 2018).