Insane in the membrane
No really, I might be going crazy
Hello Life Examiners - My bad for missing last week. Had a two-week trip to plan for with all the accompanying day job prep work. Excuses, excuses I know. Regardless I’m back so no need to worry.
Short one for you this week as I’m in the midst of an Indian wedding in Jaipur.
Weekly Wonderings and Wisdom
I think I’m going insane. Or at least I’ve identified a part of my psyche that I classify as such. Its behavior has become untethered from reality, a psychosis of sorts. This part is convinced that there are prying, critical eyes on it at all times, even in the absolute private confines of my mind.
I sit down to journal, knowing I’m writing for me and only me. And yet there remains a constriction of output, a voice that says:
“You can’t venture into that unfamiliar writing style.
Your next thought better be profound.
Nah, don’t write that. It sounds stupid.”
I’m fully aware of the non-existent stakes at hand but somehow, I still feel hampered by this persistent self-criticism. It’s like I'm hesitant to get naked in my own shower.
Insane right?
My sense is that this is part of some hard-coded survival software embedded in the human psyche that demands everything we do be “good” or valuable to some degree, lest we get ostracized from the tribe.
Anyways, currently working on an override. Will follow up next week with results.
Thought of the day
